Person of the Year: You

Ok so what do I hear when I turned on the radio (old school – you like that?) this morning? Buried among the usual Monday morning ‘life sucks’ articles was the tremendous news that I, a humble rodeo clown-wannabe from Titahi Bay, had been named Time’s Man of the Year (none of that PC ‘person’ malarky).

This is a great honour. I read an article in The Onion last week entitled Dictator Slays Millions In Last-Minute Push To Be Time’s Man Of The Year, and with past winners including Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Wallis Simpson (*fnar fnar fnar*) I knew the running was going to be tight, but who’d have thought little old me would make the grade?

I’d like to thank God, my Momma, and Elvis.

At this point I should probably mention that I’m not the sole recipient this year. This being the year of consumer generated media, honours go out to everyone. Yes, my countless adoring fans, YOU are Time’s Man of the Year also. Please send acceptance speeches, rants and other relevant diatribes to the usual address, and if you’re going to toast our mutual good fortune and new-found notoriety – make mine a Miller Lite.